One of the best things about being in the right relationship is having someone who cares about you and reminds you that you ARE important. A popular saying is: “You cannot pour from an empty cup.” I used to do yoga every morning, run on a regular basis and lift weights. When I started working in management, there was never enough time for me to practice self care. I barely got housework done, was too tired to read for fun or even go get a pedicure. I was lacking sleep, patience, and was constantly available to do everything for everyone . . . but myself.
No more. Since I was encouraged to resign (and did) – life has changed immensely. I am averaging 7-8 hours of sleep each night. I ride my stationary bike, have started running again, and lifting weights as well as yoga each morning and Pilates for a warm up. We are working together to get the pool in shape for the summer. I’ll then add swimming. I’ve been encouraged and supported in finishing my precepting, my schoolwork for my Criminal Justice Degree and teaching at a local nursing school part-time. We spend most of our time together, working side-by-side to create the life WE want for ourselves.
I also have been showing my husband that HE is important. Previously, he was treated as if he was his former wife’s personal ATM. The decor of the house, the purchases made were all decided without his input, simply with the use of his credit and finances. We are both mutually important to this relationship and we both benefit – physically, mentally, emotionally.
Where before there were credit cards and loans of which he was unaware, we are open with each other. He (out of habit) wants to pay my debts which are not his to cover. I, having been independent for so long, bristle at the offer taking it to mean that my input is not worthy. We came to an agreement — I will pay the debts that I had prior to our marriage. When they are paid in full, I will then add my income to the joint account.
WE work together as a team, something we had not experienced in prior relationships or marriages. The blessing of age, previous experiences and a mutual faith has made such a difference in how we treath each other. We can both say, “I am important too!”
Mudd Street Chronicles 